Wet Dreams in Adolescent and Preteen Boys — A Guide for Parents, Teachers, and Mentors

As a passionate teacher and leader of young minds, I believe that parenting is more than providing food, shelter, and education. True parenting is intentional mentoring — preparing our children for life’s realities before they meet them unprepared.

One topic that many parents, teachers, and guardians shy away from — yet is essential for the healthy upbringing of boys — is wet dreams. Unfortunately, in many cultures, silence surrounds this natural change, leaving boys confused, ashamed, or misinformed.

Today, let us break that silence.

What Is a Wet Dream?

A wet dream, medically called nocturnal emission, occurs when a boy ejaculates semen while asleep, often during a dream.

It usually begins during puberty but can start as early as 10–12 years old.
It is a result of the natural hormonal changes — particularly the increase in testosterone — that awaken the male reproductive system.

In simple terms, the body is “practicing” and releasing semen when it builds up.

Why Does It Happen?

During puberty, the male body begins producing semen regularly. If the semen is not released through other means (for example, through marriage in adulthood), the body sometimes releases it naturally during sleep.

Key points:

Wet dreams are not sinful or a sign of bad behavior.
They happen to most boys — some experience them often, others rarely.
They are not dangerous to health.

However, without proper guidance, a boy may link this experience to guilt, shame, or moral weakness — especially if he learns about it from the wrong sources.

The Parent–Teacher–Mentor Role

Children’s bodies and minds change rapidly during puberty. Our job is to prepare them before the changes happen.

A. Talk Before It Happens

Don’t wait until your son experiences his first wet dream to explain. By then, fear or shame may already have taken root.
Use age-appropriate language and explain simply:

“Your body will start changing as you grow. One of the signs is that, sometimes at night, a liquid called semen might come out while you are sleeping. It’s natural and not something to be afraid of.”

B. Create a Safe Space

Boys are less likely to open up if they feel judged. Let them know they can ask questions without fear.

C. Monitor Their Influences

While wet dreams are natural, sexual media exposure can increase their frequency and awaken sexual curiosity too early. Keep watch over what they watch, read, or listen to.

D. Instill Moral Values

Beyond explaining biology, guide them in self-control, modesty, and God’s standard for sexual purity.

Emotional and Practical Guidance for Boys

To protect their emotional health, teach boys that:

This is normal, not something to feel “dirty” about.
Good personal hygiene after an incident is important (change underwear, clean up discreetly).
Privacy and modesty are part of self-respect.

A boy who understands and respects his body grows into a man who can control his desires and live with discipline.

Why Silence Is Dangerous

If we do not teach them, the world will. Sadly, the world often teaches through pornography, peer pressure, and misinformation. That is why intentional awareness is not optional — it is a duty.

When parents, teachers, and mentors unite in guiding boys through puberty with love and truth, we raise men of character — not boys who stumble through confusion.

Reflection Questions: