BIBLICAL WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
BIBLICAL WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
Conflict in marriage refers to disagreements, disputes, or tensions that arise between spouses. It is a natural and inevitable part of any intimate relationship. Conflicts can arise from various sources, including differences in personality, values, expectations, communication styles, and life goals. Common triggers for marital conflict may include financial issues, parenting disagreements, lack of communication, infidelity, and external stressors like work pressures.
Conflicts in marriage are not necessarily negative; in fact, they can be opportunities for growth and deeper understanding between spouses if handled constructively. However, when conflicts are not managed effectively, they can lead to resentment, emotional distance, and, in severe cases, the breakdown of the marital relationship.
Unresolved conflicts may manifest in various ways, such as constant arguments, withdrawal from communication, emotional distancing, or a general sense of dissatisfaction within the marriage. It’s crucial for couples to address conflicts in a healthy manner, emphasizing communication, empathy, compromise, and a commitment to understanding each other’s perspectives.
Resolving conflicts in marriage involves active listening, expressing feelings and needs, finding common ground, and working together towards solutions. Seeking outside help, such as marriage counseling or pastoral guidance, can also be beneficial for couples facing persistent or complex conflicts. The goal is not to eliminate all disagreements but to manage them in a way that strengthens the marital bond and promotes mutual understanding and growth.
Whether you are married or in a love relationship conflicts do arise. Today’s lengthy but inspiring article (please accept my apologies in advance) is aimed at arming you with the right knowledge so that you could handle your issues in a mature way and BIBLICAL WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE.
From one marriage to another, or from one love relationship to another, conflicts do arise and vary. With some, conflicts could arise in the area of sex, while with others it could be in the areas of family finance, career, extended families, child bearing, parenting, etc. Whatever the challenge, conflicts are not meant to break up the relationship or marriage. No. They are the acid test. Unknown to many people,
They test the strength of our love
The strength of our character
The strength of our moral values
The strength of our spirituality
The strength of our maturity
The strength of our knowledge of what marriage truly is,
The strength of our patience
The strength of our tolerance, and most importantly, our knowledge of God’s word regarding relationship or marriage.
Now let’s briefly see the principles of conflict resolution.
1. Be Calm
During conflicts the nerves may be up, causing anger to well up in us. And the consequences of the actions are usually raised voices, insults.
But anger never solves anything.
Be calm and address your issues.
2. Discuss The Issues
Any problem which isn’t discussed can’t be solved. Discuss the burning issues with the mind of resolving them and not to make them escalate.
3. Restrain Yourselves From Further Provocations
During conflicts, most times our emotions are worked up. We are not in the right frame of mind. Please it’s advised that both spouses or lovers refrain themselves from further provocations.
Don’t insult, curse, or start a fight. Women, please mind your mouths. Exercise caution. There is no law anywhere that says you should insult your husbands while in a “fight” or trying to resolve your problems. Calling him “useless man”, “idiot”, “loser”, “yeye man”, “good for nothing husband”, ” were”, “olori buruku”, ” anuofia”, “ewu”,etc, won’t solve the issues at hand. In fact, if care is not taken, the man may end up doing what he will regret later. And to you the men, please don’t lay your hands on your lover or spouse. It’s true that some of them could be highly, highly provocative, still don’t touch her. Refrain yourself.
4. Deal With Your Issues Like Friends Not Like Enemies
Honestly, sometimes, conflicts can poison our emotions towards our lovers or spouses. And that’s exactly what Satan wants to achieve at the end of the day. His objective is to paint them in the wrong light so as to break relationships and marriages. However, your lover or spouse is not an enemy, your enemy. Whatever the challenge, that fact should never be forgotten. It helps in conflict resolution.
5. Be Very Committed To Seeking A Resolution:
Both lovers or spouses should be very committed to finding solutions to their problems and not making things escalate.
6. Be Humble And Willing To Let go
Nothing breaks a relationship or marriage like pride.
Pride, more often than none, is what is actually breaking relationship or marriage and not even the very problem. If you’re a “no-nonsense” or “I no go gree man or woman” your marriage can’t last or better still, won’t be blissful. Be ready to shift grounds, to compromise or even make some sacrifices.
In marriage humility is power, not a weakness. So use it to the benefit of your marriage or relationship.
7. Forgive yourselves:
A healthy relationship or marriage is one where both spouses or lovers understand the place and power of forgiveness and demonstrate it always. Don’t let your issues linger for too long. Please forgive yourselves just as God forgives us in Christ daily. Saying “I am sorry” can heal a relationship or save a marriage from divorce. Please be wise.
8. Let The Romance Continue
When a conflict in a relationship or marriage has been dealt with, please move on from there.
Let your romance continue from wherever you both left it. Put behind you the incident by not keeping malice at each other, but loving yourselves like never before.
9. Should you be unable to resolve your conflicts by yourselves, please seek help
At this juncture, for the sake of helping those lovers or spouses who can’t resolve their own issues by themselves, it is wisdom for them to seek help. Please call in a pastor, counselor, coach or any trusted and respected person to intervene in the matter.
Don’t be shy, proud or ashamed to do that if that is the last or only option that could redeem your relationship or marriage at the verge of breaking. By the way, didn’t the Bible say: “In the multitude of counselors there is safety?”
Lastly, be reminded that divorce isn’t God’s plan for you because marriage is meant to be enjoyed and to last forever. Therefore, no matter the conflicts, while being angry at each other (that’s alright), however, don’t forget that God gets let down whenever there is a divorce. If you’ve been divorced already, please accept my utmost sympathy and prayers. God loves you and He will redirect your life. Just trust Him now like never before.
BIBLICAL WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
The Bible offers guidance on resolving conflicts in marriage, emphasizing principles of love, forgiveness, communication, and humility. Here are some biblical ways to address and resolve conflicts in marriage:
- Communication: In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus provides a step-by-step guide for conflict resolution within the community of believers. It involves addressing the issue directly with the person involved. Open and honest communication is crucial in resolving conflicts.
- Forgiveness: Ephesians 4:32 encourages believers to be kind and compassionate, forgiving one another just as God forgave them in Christ. Forgiveness is a fundamental aspect of resolving conflicts in marriage.
- Humility: Philippians 2:3-4 teaches the importance of humility, considering others as more significant than ourselves. Being humble helps in understanding the perspective of your spouse and finding common ground.
- Patience: Proverbs 15:18 advises that a hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but a patient person calms a quarrel. Patience is essential in navigating disagreements without escalating the situation.
- Seeking Counsel: Proverbs 15:22 encourages seeking wise counsel. In times of marital conflict, it can be beneficial to involve a trusted third party, such as a pastor, counselor, or mature Christian friend, to provide guidance.
- Love: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes the qualities of love, including patience, kindness, and keeping no record of wrongs. Applying these principles can help create an atmosphere of love and understanding in the marriage.
- Prayer: Philippians 4:6-7 encourages believers to bring their concerns to God through prayer. Seeking God’s guidance and wisdom in resolving conflicts can be a powerful tool for reconciliation.
- Mutual Submission: Ephesians 5:21 teaches mutual submission in marriage. Both partners are called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, fostering an environment of mutual respect and cooperation.
- Avoiding Harsh Words: Proverbs 15:1 advises that a gentle answer turns away wrath. Using gentle and kind words rather than harsh ones can defuse tension and contribute to resolution.
- Remembering the Covenant: Malachi 2:14 speaks of marriage as a covenant. Remembering the commitment made in marriage can motivate spouses to work towards resolution rather than allowing conflicts to escalate.
It’s important to note that applying these biblical principles requires a commitment to humility, self-reflection, and a genuine desire for reconciliation. Seeking guidance from pastoral or professional counselors can also be beneficial in navigating challenging marital conflicts.
Today I pray that our marriages and relationships will not break up. And every troubled home or relationship receive divine peace right now. If there is anyone already in a faulty relationship, I pray that the God will divinely separate you both in Jesus name! Many thanks for reading and commenting.
See you at the top!
